Joel (a guy I went on a date with last week) sent me a message on facebook. At the end of the message he said, "I have something to tell you, but I'm not going to type it on here. That's stupid. I'll tell you in person on Friday."
we had been talking about finding balance, since I had kinda freaked out that he hadn't contacted me in 3 days...
My immediate thought to his "I have something to tell you" was, "dangit, he's GAY"
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I don't usually feel like this with guys, flustered, I mean. Most guys I feel like i have at least something that is better than them -looks, knowledge, cultured, wit, something.
Joel seems more like an equal on all levels and it makes me nervous and flustered.
Joel is attractive, smart, cultured, clever, musical. He is crazy similar to me. My friend Andy thinks it's weird. Andy feels like we are dating ourselves, if that makes sense. It makes me uncomfortable that he can legitimately challenge me on all levels, pretty much. Usually I have something I can store confidence in and not get nervous, feel like I have some sort of power.
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