Fast as Lightning

Hmm, tonight was Artist Series, so at 7:30pm I got all dressed up and met some friends on the steps of the Student Center and to Hughes to listen to the Merling Trio (Piano, Cello, Violin). It was beautiful and free:). Yay for Asbury doing free cultural stuff.

After the concert though, I really wanted to run, so around 10:30pm I just left my dorm and sprinted an entire mile -it took me less than 6 minutes- and then quickly jogged another. I never run that fast unless I am upset or bothered. Even then, I only run that fast once -maybe twice- a year. I'm not sure what set it off, but I guess I've just been in a lonely funk the last few days. I just took off and within a few steps, I felt like my legs were going so fast that I looked like sonic the hedge hog when goes into that hyper mode and his legs just look like a swirling blur.

I know I've described the sensation before, but it feels like if I can just go fast enough, I could run out of my earthly body, escape my emotions and desires, get away from everything and just be free, a soul w/o a box to keep it tied down.

I suppose it has something do with suppressed emotions, wanting a good hug, missing home, stress from school, and just feeling out of control in general.

Another Song

I feel like Tim is very similar to Charlie...


Casimir Pulaski Day, by Sufjan Stevens

Goldenrod and the 4H stone
The things I brought you
When I found out you had cancer of the bone

Your father cried on the telephone
And he drove his car into the Navy yard
Just to prove that he was sorry

In the morning, through the window shade
When the light pressed up against your shoulderblade
I could see what you were reading

All the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications you could do without
When I kissed you on the mouth

Tuesday night at the Bible study
We lift our hands and pray over your body
But nothing ever happens

I remember at Michael's house
In the living room when you kissed my neck
And I almost touched your blouse

In the morning at the top of the stairs
When your father found out what we did that night
And you told me you were scared

All the glory when you ran outside
With your shirt tucked in and your shoes untied
And you told me not to follow you

Sunday night when I cleaned the house
I found the card where you wrote it out
With the pictures of you mother

On the floor at the great divide
With my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied
I am crying in the bathroom

In the morning when you finally go
And the nurse runs in with her head hung low
And the cardinal hits the window

In the morning in the winter shade
On the first of March, on the holiday
I thought I saw you breathing

All the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications when I see His face
In the morning in the window

All the glory when He took our place
But He took my shoulders and He shook my face
And He takes and He takes and He takes

Song by Rise Against

Am I loud and clear or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, are we just getting more lost?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long; think that its time to move
The winter's so cold summer's over too soon
so let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow
I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Ear Worm

Trees swayin' in the summer breeze
Showin' off their silver leaves
As we walked by

Soft kisses on a summer's day
Laughing all our cares away
Just you and I

Sweet sleepy warmth of summer nights
Gazing at the distant lights
In the starry sky

They say that all good things must end someday
Autumn leaves must fall
But don't you know that it hurts me so
To say goodbye to you
Wish you didn't have to go
No, no, no, no

And when the rain
Beats against my window pane
I'll think of summer days again
And dream of you

They say that all good things must end someday
Autumn leaves must fall
But don't you know that it hurts me so
To say goodbye to you
Wish you didn't have to go
No, no, no, no

And when the rain
Beats against my window pane
I'll think of summer days again
And dream of you
And dream of you
-Chad and Jeremy

The Holy Wild

In my Gen 220 class yesterday, we discussed we thought of when we thought of the "Holy Wild" (following God with reckless abandonment). To be honest, I cannot think of anything more frightening and vulnerable than not owning a house. To not have a set place of refuge and not have a safe place to count on always being there is so scary. It is MY house, MY possession, it protects me, keeps me safe from thieves and murderers, keeps the world out, keeps me warm and cozy. I know it will be there for me when I've had a hard day. I never have to worry about where I will sleep, whether I will have shelter from the elements, and where my next meal will come from.

Not owning house is my ultimate Holy Wild. I've been thinking about Shane Claiborn a lot lately and how he founded the Simple Way. I don't know if I'd ever do anything like that, but reading Under the Overpass and listening to Shane, and now realizing what my answer is to the Holy Wild question that Dr Gray asked, I wonder...



P.S.
"the Holy Wild" comes from the book Your God is Too Safe, by Mark Buchanan

FunGreenPic

Mary Visited

Sis came this weekend. Uber fun. Open dorm in Johnson Saturday night (watched Count of Monte Cristo in Tim's room with 12 other kids). Then Tim made a bonfire at this place we all drove to. Kinda crazy though, I guess none of us freshman have had much physical contact with the opposite sex since getting here, so every girl ended up with some guy -either holding hands, cuddling, back massaging, nothing bad, but just funny. Lots of stars. Mary left Sunday afternoon and I am now back in school and going crazy with music and cheerleading, haha.

I think I found a clique tht I can hang out with if I need to. They're kinda losers, but w/e, they're fun when a few of them aren't being idiots or fashion disasters. Yes, I am the most judgemental, stuck up, conceited person ever. But come, tucking in your t-shirt and wearing jeans from 90's with odd looking black boots and always putting your hair in a pony tail with a scrunchy is just plain horrible.

Is it the Water?

So what is it about being in Kentucky that has enabled me to make more guy friends than girl friends? It seems like as soon as I got into Kentucky, there's been this natural ease with guys that was never there before. I don't know if it was 'cus I had pre-conceived notions about guys' social cliques and their reputations, but now that I am with a new set of people, it seems like there are lots of guys that are befriending me.

Am I prettier than other girls here? Am I being more outgoing than usual? Maybe it's just the fact that no one knows me as the "smart, quiet, Christian girl" here. Mary says the family curse is broken b/c of me. Maybe college has just forced me to make new friends and guys are simpler to talk to... Hmmm, I'm really intrigued as to why I have made so many guy friends so quickly, and so many more guy friends than girl friends. Look at my phone and there are more guys at Asbury than girls. Maybe I am just doing that b/c I feel insecure and want to feel valued... Who knows. Oh well, interesting topic though (to me).

Examples: Charlie said that I should go to a basketball game with him sometime (in his hometown, an hour away from school) 'cus I have never been to one and don't know anything basketball and tonight Charlie volunteered to help me study for our Aural Training test.
Andrew went running with me the other night and has gone with me to Walmart and Sonic.
Brad asked if I would like to eat lunch with him today, in addition to coming over during his open dorm (the one night a month that girls can go into the guys' dorms).
Matt made me a smoothie the other night because I mentioned that I like them, Sam of course has already been talked about. I need to make girl friends too though... I run with Irene, cheer with Erin and Bri, talk to Keturah and Julie. Of course, I have other friends than that, but those are the ones I talk to the most. I'm really looking forward to getting to know everyone the next 4 years.

Got My Uniform Hoy

I made cheer leading squad last night! Yay!

A Dress Wearing a Face

DoulosGurl46 (11:09:33 PM): I feel so sad tonight

FishDiver12 (11:02:45 PM): Why whats the matter boo?

FishDiver12 (11:03:14 PM): Don't make me make a blonde joke.

DoulosGurl46 (11:10:23 PM): hmm, that's tempting...

FishDiver12 (11:03:58 PM): for really whats the matter? classes stressing you out.

DoulosGurl46 (11:10:57 PM): idn, it's depressing how much time it takes to make friends

FishDiver12 (11:04:13 PM): oh come on it took us only 12 hours

DoulosGurl46 (11:11:23 PM): I mean, I have some aquaintences, and they're nice

DoulosGurl46 (11:11:45 PM): I go running with Irene, talk to Keturah, cheer with Erin, eat popcorn with Val

DoulosGurl46 (11:11:56 PM): but they're not quite friends

DoulosGurl46 (11:12:11 PM): more like the only people around and so I need them to keep me company

FishDiver12 (11:08:21 PM): Well friends come with quiet conversations

FishDiver12 (11:08:23 PM): i find

DoulosGurl46 (11:15:52 PM): well, the only quiet conversations I've hard so far are with Irene, and another with Sam

DoulosGurl46 (11:16:46 PM): but I can't let myself hang out with Sam, I know he's the kind of guy who will act likes he really likes/loves you when he really doesn't care anything about you, I'll just get hurt

FishDiver12 (11:12:25 PM): I love you amy.

FishDiver12 (11:12:45 PM): your such a sweet person. but you've gotta stick yourself out to get to know anyone

DoulosGurl46 (11:20:24 PM): yeah, but not him, haha.

DoulosGurl46 (11:21:30 PM): my friend Adam told me to hug a pillow and think of him, but girls don't hug things, we get hugs. Ya know? Guys arms go around us, and pillows dont do that.

FishDiver12 (11:15:28 PM): I wont lie i did think about doing that in the movie but i was like kris you don't know her that welll anymore.

DoulosGurl46 (11:22:43 PM): haha

DoulosGurl46 (11:22:46 PM): I love hugs

DoulosGurl46 (11:22:55 PM): well... who doesn't?

DoulosGurl46 (11:23:38 PM): the problem is, every guy i've watched movies with and let them hold me, the relationship somehow loses all conversations from there on out. the guy never wants to talk after that.

Ugh, Broadway

So have I ever told you how much I hate listening to broadway musicals? Like, it's ok watching them, but actually just listening to them is the most irritating thing ever! And, just so you know, my roommate is listening to musicals right now. Grr.

Quest Carnival

Ok, so Sam picked me up at 3:30pm and we had a great time at the carnival. We got there, watched one of his friends/band members sing for the lil kids as "Alexis Texas." After that, we talked to a bunch of his friends and kept walking around and meeting people he knew; it was fun 'cus I met lots of fun people. Hmm, we watched some really cool motocross stuff, bought dinner and a 3' long bag of kettle corn for me to share with Val, a girl on my hall.
We went on those carnival swings, the ones that are for one person and are on like 30' metal cables. Sam, me, and Sam's group of friends all went on the swings, but I was the last one on, and the group of swings they had chosen didn't have enough swings for me, so I went and found one away from the group so that I could at least be on the ride. It just so happened that the swing I chose had an empty swing next to it. After I sat down, feeling kind of sad 'cus I was alone, I looked up to see Sam leaving his swing by his friends and sitting down in the one across from me:-), uber fun.

After the swings, we went on the scrambler ride thingy. Sam and I went together :-). I've never had such fun just yelling "whooooo!" and lifting my arms up in the air, haha. Oh, and when the ride was over, the people forgot to get us out (it was one of those things the carnie guys have to open for you), so we ended up going a second time together. However, between the 1st and 2nd time going, I noticed my bag of kettle corn was nowhere near my bag, where I had set it down, in fact, the kettle corn was AWOL. There had been some middle school punks begging me for some, but I had so "no" b/c I didn't know them, it cost me $7, and I was going to give half of it to Val. They got mad at mumbled under their breath. Sam things they stole it. But that didn't stop him from yelling at his buddies (b4 the 2nd ride started) that they should look for those middle school punks and find my kettle corn -we had already named my kettle corn Christopher Kettle Corn, he had a sharpied-on face (onto the bag), and he had been "breast fed" by the boys and called "Baby" a billion times. It was really sad to lose Christopher Kettle Corn.

So by the time we went on the rides, the girl who played Alexis Texas was hanging with us (she's a year younger than Sam) and she wanted to ride with Sam on the scrambler because, as she said, "it was tradition." ::rolls eyes:: . Anywho, I went on with Jared, a freshman at UK and we had a good talk about being a Christian at a secular state university and how fraternities fit into that.

After the rides, Sam, his guy friends, and I all walked over to Meijers and bought a 1/2 gallon of cookies and cream icecream and some plastic spoons and ate it on the way back to the carnival. That was really fun. We then watched the fireworks (they were beautiful) on the grass and Sam dropped me off at the front steps of GC. However, I went for a hug in the car after he stopped the car in front of the GC steps. It was weird. I went for a hug and we somehow ended up smacking our faces together (no lip though, thank goodness). He made like a little yelp and I felt awkward and quickly got out of the car. Not sure if he was going for a kiss and I was only going for a hug, or if we both are just super bad at judging what side to hug on. I mean, it's normal to have that both-go-to-the-same-side-hug on accident, but I've never not been able to save it. Awwwwkard.

Playing in the Rain

So last week on Sunday night I went to 608 with Matt, a kid from my Music Theory class. Matt is a senior in high school but is dual enrolled at Asbury. Anyway, I asked Matt if he would give me a ride to church and he said yes, picked me up for church, and we went out to dinner and a girl's house afterwards.
At the girl's house (Kelsey), we hung out with a couple other kids, one of them being Sam. Sam is kind of an earthy kid, a theater/music kid. He went to Cornerstone Illinois '07, I went '06. Anywho, I was really impressed with Sam's knowledge of movies and music (he likes Bradley Hathaway, MuteMath, and has see Once and Science of Sleep), so I myspaced him. When Matt told me he wasn't going to church this Sunday and neither was Kelsey, I called Sam to ask if he was going - he was and said he would take me.
He picked me up this morning in his old, black volvo. His volvo has lots of bumper stickers on it -I love it. They say things like "give peace a chance" and "God is not a democrat or a republican." We went to church and his family and Kelsey and her family all met us there. We all went out for Zaxby's after church, his family bought me lunch. Then we went to his house and bounced on the trampoline for a bit; he tried to teach me how to do a front flip, though didn't succeed. We planned on going to Questapalooza, a festival thing at a nearby church, but he had homework, so he drove me back to Glide-Crawford. On our way back, it began to rain really hard, Sam said "I realy want to play in the rain." I replied, "I haven't played in the rain in ages." So he pulls over into a small parking lot next to a field of horses, we get out of the car, run barefoot to the field, and try to coax the horses over to us and then we petted them. It was really fun. He said he would call me when he finished his homework and that he would come pick me up for the festival, which ends at 10pm. I hope he calls soon.

However, last week when I met him, he was on the phone and, ask Kelsey explained, he was talking to his "kind-of girlfriend." On Facebook, he was listed as "in a relationship" until Monday, then "single" and a few days ago he took the down the whole thing and doesn't have a field for relationship status. Matt said the girl he was "kind of dating" lived in Michigan though. Hmmm, we shall see how things work out.

Sunday Doldrums

So I'm quite bored right now and really want some chocolate. Honestly, I would completely prefer to be running at the Luce or to be practicing music in McCreless, but both are closed right now.

Hmmm, Andrew just called and we are going to figure out how to write My Country Tis of Thee on the piano in the Glide-Crawford lobby. I guess that's better than nothing :-).