Quitter

As a preface to this post, my mom had been asking me throughout the last session of camp why I was working two jobs and insisted that I didn't need to work so much, that she and my dad would help me if my finances got that rough, even if I didn't work during the school year. Dawn, my counselor, asked me why I felt like I needed to work two jobs (I'm an over achiever and very independent) and then asked me what I did to make sure I took care of myself (I couldn't name anything).

Well, this past Monday morning I walked into the new 4 week session of camp at 7:30am like I did last session... I opened my schedule, and instead of having 4 classes, I only had 3 classes; instead of my hours being 7:30am-1:30pm, they were 8:30am-1:30pm. Never even told me. I was just slightly ticked (understatement). So I decided to talk Brooke, one of the 3 people Terry left in charge when she (terry) left the 2nd week of camp without telling any of the counselors. No one ever bothered to make an announcement that Terry left and let us know who was left in charge. I found out through the grapevine that Terry left to take a better job in Jacksonville and that Brooke, Pringle, and Walker are in charge.

Brooke got in at 8:30 and so I went up to her and asked her if it was true in as calm as a voice as I could manage if my new hours were a mistake. She said no. She told me that on Thursday I had told her that I needed to be at the mall by 3pm (which is Ed's preferable time, though I do not make it there till 4pm most days and Ed is fine with that). That's true, I do have to be at the mall by then. I told her that I didn't realize not being available in the afternoon would mean that she would cut my hours and that if it meant cutting my hours, I could probably change my schedule around and make it. I told her I like to work out after camp and am going to start training for a triathalon and so I like that time (um, if I were being honest, I need to work out after camp out, I am addicted, I have problem, I am seeing Dawn for help).

Well then she got really ticked and started talking loud enough for all the other counselors in the room to hear. She said "Well you told me that you had to be off because you had to be at work by 3, did you not?" ("yes") "Well you lied to me; you feel disrespected because I didn't tell you your hours would be cut, but you LIED to me. You should have said I prefer to work these hours, not 'I have to be at the mall by 3', that's lying."

I don't feel like I lied to her. I thought my shift would start at 7:30am; if it starts at 7:30am, I NEED to get off at 1:30pm to be able to run. Most people may not NEED to run, but I do. I didn't feel like explaining to Brooke, the girl who I feel doesn't care squat about me or any other counselor, that I am a centimeter away from having a full blown eating disorder, so I told her it was work that I needed to be off for. However, if I start at 8:30am instead of 7:30am, I could probably have worked out in the morning before work, if needed.

Anyway, needless to say, I was ticked and cried a couple times through the day Monday. Then, on my way to work Tuesday, I got pulled over for crossing a double yellow line at in intersection. Got me $125 ticket. Alex, because of how sweet he is, offered to help me pay for it, but I said no, it was my ticket after all.

I think I need to tell them I need to leave at the end of the week. I don't want to be this stressed and I want to enjoy my summer. Otherwise, I will be completely stressed when I go see Alex and I will only have 2 weeks to have a relaxed summer before I go back to Asbury. I feel like a quitter, but I think I mentally and emotionally need the break. Monday, I found it hard to find the physical strength to get out of bed and get dressed when I got home from camp and had to get ready to go to SGH.