When I saw a couple this summer who had tattooed their wedding "rings" on their fingers, my first thought was, "that's stupid, what if you want/need to take your ring off when you divorce?"
Was that a horrible thought? Did I doom specifically their marriage in my mind, or was I thinking in more general terms and talking of all marriages? I guess that thought reveals my secret feelings about marriage. I say with my mouth that marriage is forever and I want to believe it, but my heart betrays me.
Is being in love something that happens in the beginning of a marriage and then, a few years later, you are simply living with someone you love, but are not in love with? Maybe you are not only not in love with them any longer, but also do not even love them anymore. What happens? Is it possible to "fall back in love"? Is there a difference between romantic love and being in love?
Why does everyone keep hinting at Alex and I and whether we were "meant to be?". Well, Ethan asking us that question the other night at dinner about when were planning on getting married (I impulsively blurted out "never" and alex said "maybe sometime, idk") and then Dorothy said "Maybe you were brought to Asbury to find Alex" today after I told her about how it was a total God thing that brought me to Asbury.
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Is it possible to fall back in love?
My parents were married for a few years before they got a divorce. They spent a year separated, but over that year found each other all over again and were remarried the next year.
Twenty-odd years later, when my dad was dying in our front room, my mom slept out on the couch by his hospital-brought bed every night, even though she has a really messed up back from an old car accident. She brought him food, she cleaned him up, and she was napping on that couch when he breathed his last breath.
They fell back in love, and were in love til the end. And it was never easy for them, and it was a completely uphill battle because they were both so messed up and trying so hard and so different, but they did it. They loved each other with a fierceness that defied every single earth shattering fight--with fate and with each other.
I can't and won't ever pass judgment on your relationship and the idea of "meaning to be." Just know: Love is possible. Love is possible through extremely hard nigh impossible circumstances. Falling back in love is possible, too.
Always willing to lend a listening ear (and occasionally a rambling comment), and always wishing you the best,
--Kara
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