Fall and Winter

I don't know if it's being on the pill or if it's just me. I don't get butterflies when I see him anymore. I don't find conversation pouring forth as easily as it used to. I don't find conversation easy to keep up with anyone though. I don't feel like I smile much in general. My brain/thought process feels dead. I am considering breaking up with him. I love him, but I don't know. I don't want to stay in a dead end relationship with a guy that doesn't make my heart beat faster when I see him (my heart used to do that). I don't know. Maybe it's normal for that not to continue. Maybe this is just a rut. Maybe this is just me reacting to my dad's sexual struggle, my parents' divorce, and my dad's boyfriend and my mom's boyfriend and starting the pill a month ago.