Alone in the Caf

I'm sick of eating alone. I eat meals alone more than I eat with ppl and it's really depressing to do in a cafeteria. My friends either don't eat in the caf or dont have the same meal times as me or leave campus every weekend. I ask to sit witth ppl, but they always have a meeting with somene over lunch or are having a "lunch date" with a friend.

Also, my roomie says that I am melancholy and have been for the past two weeks or so. It has also been that the past two weeks have been really hard with Ed. Everyday I have been tempted with, "you could just skip a meal or a snack today" or "why don't you just go for a second run?" or "your stomach is getting a pooch." Blah! I hate the lies, the temptations, the seductive quality of slavery to the ideal and perfect image.

The counselors and professionals tell me that Ed gets worse when I am stressed, so I assume I am very stressed, as I have not been attacked like this in months. With my sister being up and down and on medications and getting a new diagnosis every week for her mental instability, my dad dating this new woman and looking for new jobs, and my mom dating Ernie kind of and all, I guess it makes sense, especially when you add in my graduation in December, grad school/jobs, moving in with my boss, and having half of my school getting engaged.