1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I was on my knees this morning, praying to God and feeling so unworthy. I didn't even want to ask for forgiveness -I have fallen so many times in the same place, the same sin, knowing what I was doing and not caring how it affected Him or my soul at the time of the act. I barely talked to Him during the 5 weeks I was allowed to exercise, but of course I run to him and spend hours with Him during my weeks I take off exercise because I can't do it without him. I feel like scum for only spending time with Him when I can so clearly see my need for him, when I don't have my crutch of exercise to lean on. I told Him all of that and then asked Him if there was anyway I could get out of no-exercise this week. I said I didn't think it was really a big deal and I could just do it every 8 weeks instead of every 6 weeks and that the past week had been very hard even when I was exercising.
I then read My Upmost For His Highest's entry today. It was all about completely giving our lives to Christ and how there is no way to truly follow Him and glorify Him without doing so -or at least, that is what I got out of March 21's entry. It was a pretty clear answer, "No Amy, you cannot exercise this week. Your body is not yours and you have no right to do what you want with it. It is mine and I love you. In order to serve me completely and to know me, you must give your body and your desires to do what you want with your body to me, so that you can find complete freedom in me and that you can walk in the ways that I have planned for you. There is no way around it; you either trust me with everything (including your body), or you don't."
I need His help this week. I am in awe of the idea that He loves me so much and cares for me, even when I constantly run from Him and spit in His face. He will give me His strength, His faith, and I have no idea why. I am so undeserving, but He continues to give.
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