'Rents...

So my dad came up this past Sunday b/c he wanted to tell me in person that he and my mom were separating. However, my sister thought I already knew and told me a few days before he came up. I was kinda sad to hear that the reason he was coming up was to tell me bad news, instead of just to see me, but w/e.

My dad and I went out to lunch and we talked about it. See, for 2 or 3 years my mom has been complaining to Mary and I about how much she doesn't like my dad ("he's never home", "he cares more about his car and computer than us", "if we would stop buying new cars, we would be fine", "he's selfish", etc). But my dad never heard any of it. He didn't really know she was that unhappy. They went to counseling and she would say a few things, and he really did get better (though I was never that aware of my family or parents' relationship to know what exactly he did wrong in the first place).

My dad thought he was doing better, my mom told me she threatened him with divorce when everytime he bought a new car (twice a year?). He didn't expect her to ask for a divorce in the middle of their date to Panera. He says he pretty much begged her not to get a divorce right away and so they settled on separating for a year and seeing how that goes. Mary says he has already tripled his efforts to try and win her back. She seems over him though. She made up her mind years ago that he would not, could not be someone she romanticly loved. She decided a long time ago that she would not live with him for the rest of her life. She just never told him.

Now my sister is stuck with mom complaining and making plans to live alone. My mom promised my dad that they would stay in contact after they separate, that he could eat dinner with them 2 or 3 times a week, hang out with Mary, help with the lawn and computers. However, my mom has seriously started considering moving away with Mary. She is looking at Tennessee and asking Mary which school in Nashville she would like to go to. That's so unfair to my dad.

Mom complains to Mary about how Mary should help around the house now that Dad won't be fully supporting them. She talks about the "separation" all the time to Mary. Mary says Dad is being cool about it, as best as he can be atleast.