So you know That scene in Little Miss Sunshine when Dwayne finds out he is colorblind and screams the f-word at the top of his lungs in this random, dried up retention pond and then grieves over his lost dream?
Well, I kind of feel like that. I haven't lost my chance at achieving a goal or anything (other than my entire summer's wages), but I feel like screaming as loud as I can and then sitting down at crying. I actuallly did both of those things in my car when I was driving (to the house I am babysitting at) a few minutes ago. Did I mention that the parents left 26 minutes ago and that the kid is still screaming his head off and kicking the front door?
Anywho. I worked 7 hours a day every week-day this week and then got home and did 2-3 hours of school work online, 5 days straight. I also had to help teach my art classes at camp, which is not at all my job, and had a suicidal kid in one of my classes at camp who swore like a sailor and finally got kicked out on Friday. Today I woke up 10am, thankgoodness I got to sleep in, and started my online work at noon and went until 6pm. I took 3 snack breaks, wrote 4 pages of journal entries, wrote out one discussion, took a fake SAT for SAT prep, and did a vocab exercise as well as a worksheet on how the SAT works. Then, when I looked at the clock and realized that I had one minute to get to the Sullivan's, I freaked and couldnt even find my keys.
Then, when I finally just took my mom's keys, my dad's ugly new car (which he lost $3,000 getting, bringing my family closer to bankruptcy and divorce) was behind me so I couldn't get out. He told me to be careful because he had some "stuff to the side of Elsy" (elsy is my car) and I though he meant the furniture and lawn mower to the side of my car. I found out lter that he meant his car door panel and wagon in the side yard, which is where I have to back into in order to get out of my driveway. I backed up, heard a crunch, stopped, went forward, swerved farther to the left, tried again...crunch, stop, forward, swerve more, try again, crack... I was ticked, ready to cry, tired, and worn out mentally.
I tried one more time, gave up, and just went over it because I didn't know what the heck it was and assumed it was some stupid bucket or trash can that didn't cost that much. It was only 5 minutes later that I got a call from my mom telling me that every paycheck I earn this summer will be going towards fixing my dad's stupid car that he shouldn't have bought anyway and is just too immature to deal with not having a new car every time one of his friends gets a new one. He really ticks me off. I don't even remember all of his cars. He's the one who goes and buys a new car every few months, is too cheap to buy a car that will actually work, and then complains how he doesn't like "how it drives" a few weeks later and begins to look for another car. I really hate him sometimes.
1 comment:
I think I really pity your father. He has to find his life in a new car and then he only sees dissatisfaction. He is defined, from what I know, by this characteristic about him. He is a single aspected character for whom time is gradually running out with which to make a change he is unwilling or not able to see to make.
I'm sorry you've had to handle so much stress, Ahmi. I don't like to read about you so worn down. It makes me frown with worry. Things will hopefully buck up soon. If not, I'll send you a picture I colored of care bears. If that doesn't make you smile, then I don't know what will.
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